


High

by esh_maki



Series: Haikyuu and BNHA One Shots and Short Stories [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Clubbing, Drug Use, Ecstasy - Freeform, Established Relationship, I Made Myself Cry, Im not adding tags for part 2, M/M, Overdosing, Partying, Recreational Drug Use, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:33:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28103247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esh_maki/pseuds/esh_maki
Summary: Oikawa is abusing Ecstasy. Iwaizumi doesn't want to go through the after effects of it, or the hospital visits any more, so he give Oikawa two options
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Series: Haikyuu and BNHA One Shots and Short Stories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2058621
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my Twitter [esh_maki](https://twitter.com/esh_maki) for updates on what I'm writing. Or to send me requests for future one shots!

The lights in the club were flashing that night. Everything was hot, and blurry. There were butterflies flying around, and flowers growing on the floor. I could feel the music in my heart and through my body. It was the perfect club experience, but that’s what ecstasy does. It makes everything feel better and more intense. Iwaizumi was somewhere there, probably talking to one of our other friends who was there to celebrate my birthday, so I felt safe enough to just go completely wild.

But then it suddenly hit me. A pain in my chest that I couldn’t ignore. It just got worse as the minutes ticked by. My chest tightened as the pain increased. Something was wrong. I didn't know what was wrong. I needed to get out. I needed silence. I needed Iwaizumi. But I couldn't get any of that.

I walked to the bathroom, which seemed so far away at the time, but was, in reality, very close to the dance floor where I was standing. I pushed the door open and collapsed, clutching my chest, trying to breathe, but only managing small shallow breaths. Time slowed down. My eyes closed as I tried to manage the pain better.

I didn't notice a hand on my shoulder, or the panicked voice behind me. All I could experience was the horrible pain, the pain that was just getting worse and worse. I felt hands pull me up to my feet. I felt someone pushing me so my feet moved. I felt the pain in my chest. I felt nothing. The world blurred in and out, like I was falling between consciousness and unconsciousness.

“Oikawa!” I barely hear. I forced my eyes open to see Iwaizumi, his eyes full of tears. Then I felt his hand latched onto mine. “Oikawa! Stay with me. It’ll be okay. We’ll make it through this.”

“Iwaizumi, you need to move back so we can do our job.” I vaguely remember someone saying. Then his grip loosed. Then it disappeared completely.

“Oikawa. I'm here still. I'm still here. It’ll be alright.” He repeated the words until we were separated completely by me being taken into an emergency room.

The time being treated is all a blur. I remember tubes being pushed into my nostrils forcing me to take air into my tight lungs. I remember the shocks that came soon after. I was shocked five times, each about ten seconds apart. It felt like it took hours though, each shock going through my body slowly, painfully, but not as painful as the tightness in my chest. After three shocks, the pain in my chest started to dissipate. After the fifth shock, it was almost completely gone.

I was wheeled out of the room on a bed after a few minutes. The halls meshed together, everything looked the same to me. I didn't know where I was, I only knew that I was alone. Time seemed to sped up, so that every minute felt like ten.

I stopped moving. I heard the door close. I laid there on the hard hospital bed, looking at the plain white ceiling. I don't know how much time passed before the door opened again and Iwaizumi walked in, even though it was more like he ran in.

“Oikawa! I was so worried when I found you in the bathroom. I can't keep doing this. It's happened three times already. When will you learn?”

I don't remember how I responded, but when I did, I remember the tears streaming down Iwaizumi’s cheeks. He took hold of my hand in a tight grip, and pulled it against his forehead.

***

The first thing I clearly remember was waking up the next morning. My entire body was stiff and everything hurt. Iwaizumi was slumped in a chair by my side, holding my hand limply as he slept. A few minutes after I woke up, a nurse came in. She told me that a doctor would come by shortly to discuss what happened to me. She also brought me a slice of toast, and a big glass of water.

I ate sloppily, using my left hand because Iwaizumi still had possession of my right hand. I didn't realize how thirsty I was until I took a sip of water. I downed the whole glass as fast as I could after the first sip.

A few minutes later, Iwaizumi woke up. He looked at me and smiled sadly, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. It also fell a few seconds later when the doctor walked in.

“Oikawa. When you came in last night, you were very high on a lot of ecstacy and very drunk. You were having a heart attack, probably because of the combination of alcohol and ecstacy. While testing you for drugs, we also found traces of cocaine in your system. What you did was very dangerous, and if you continue with this reckless behavior, you will likely end up in the hospital many more times, and it is likely you will die.”

I looked at Iwaizumi, and he was shaking. He is a very stoic, unemotional person, so seeing him break down scared me. I reached to take his hand and he flinched when I touched him.

“Oikawa, you can't keep doing this.” was all he said before nodding at the doctor to continue.

“We had to give you oxygen, and we almost lost you a few times. I'm not sure how much of it you’ll remember, the combination of drugs you were on causes a lot of memory loss, especially when combined.” He handed Iwaizumi two orange pill bottles. “One of those is a pain medication, he’ll be in a lot of pain for a few days, and the other is a medication to help prevent another heart attack.”

After he said that I came to the realization that, at the ripe young age of twenty one, I had had a heart attack and almost died. Iwaizumi had tears in his eyes. I didn't want to stop going to clubs and taking ecstasy with some of my friends; it's one of my only ways of letting loose, and I didn't want to give it up.

Iwaizumi filled out the paperwork to get me discharged from the hospital. He walked me to his car - I have no idea when he went back to the club to get it - and we got in. He drove us to his place. When we got there, he got me a glass of cold water and made me an omelet on rice. I ate in silence and he watched me eat. I finished and he took the plate and cup and put them in the sink. He came back to the living room with a very serious expression.

“You can't keep doing this. I can't watch you kill yourself to have a few hours of high with your club friends. I don't want you to do it again.” he said.

“You can't tell me how to live my life!” I said, kind of annoyed at him already.

“Well I don't want to be part of your life if you're okay dying to have a little bit of fun.” He raised his voice slightly.

“Fine then!” I yelled.

“Fine! If you don't quit, I'm going to break up with you!” He yelled back.

I left the room as fast as my sore body would let me. I stormed into his bedroom, slamming and locking the door.  _ He thinks he can make me pick between him and my only outlet? Why can't he just let me release all my tension that built up over the week? _ I thought. 

I never really looked at his perspective though, I never really cared what he went through while I was high, because the only thing that got me through the week was knowing that, come Friday, I could let loose and enjoy myself with no judgement from anyone.

***

That night, just to spite Iwaizumi, I snuck out of his apartment and went to my favorite club. I got there, showed the bouncer my ID, went inside, and ordered a drink. I called one of my many dealers who I knew would be around the club at this time of night. He conveniently had just left, and told me he would come back if I paid a little extra. I agreed.

He got there about a minute later, I paid him seventy five dollars for three hits, and an extra fifteen dollars for the extra I promised him. After that, I don't remember much. The night was just a haze of laughing, hallucinations. I met a lot of new people. I think I puked a few times, but I'm not sure. I vaguely remember refusing to drink any alcohol that night. All in all, I had a good time and completely forgot about Iwaizumi.

The next morning, I enter the passcode to his door and find him sitting on the couch. He looked at me intensely. He didn't say anything, but kept his eyes on me as I made my way to his bathroom to shower. It felt nice letting the hot water wash the sweat and scent of the club off me and down the drain. When I got out, I found a set of clothes on the sink. I put them on and headed out to the living room. Iwaizumi was still sitting in the same place as when I walked in, so I sat next to him.

“Why the fuck would you do that Oikawa?” Glaring at me while asking his question.

“You were acting like you could run my life, so I rebelled against you.” I started calmly.

“I'm not trying to run your life. I'm trying to keep you from killing yourself!”

“I don't think that's your job Iwa-chan!” My voice got louder.

“Fucking moron!” He practically yelled at me. “I don't want you to die! How can your shitty brain not understand that if you keep doing this you're going to fucking die!” By now, he was yelling at me.

“I'm not your kid! And you don't have the right to be an asshole just cause you don't like how I unwind!” I yelled back.

“I can't handle this anymore! It's so stressful to have to watch you almost die every weekend! I'm done! I didn't want it to end like this, but I can't fucking do it anymore! I gave you a chance to fix it, and you fucking threw it away like the little bitch you are!” Iwaizumi yelled, now loud enough that his neighbors definitely heard him.

I stood up. “Fuck you!” I screamed back, “I don't need you. Just fuck off and leave me alone.”

“Out.” he growled at me, somehow more scary like that. “Get out now! I don't want you in my life anymore! I can't take it!”

I left, slamming the door in my wake. I made it exactly thirteen steps down the hall before I collapsed. I then realized that that was the worst decision of my life, and I would never stop regretting it, because I lost the one person who stuck with me through everything, the one person who loved me almost unconditionally. The only person I would ever trust for the rest of my life. I lost my soulmate that day, because I made one, very stupid decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried while writing this. When the paramedics made Iwaizumi let go of Oikawa's hand in the ambulance and the last paragraph, I had to stop writing to cry. 
> 
> I was asked to make a part two to this, so I'll just make it have two chapters, even though I know that makes it so it isn't a one shot anymore. But I would rather have two chapters than make it two separate works that are so connected. I'll get chapter two uploaded as soon as possible.
> 
> If you liked it leave a kudo. Comment if you have any requests for one shots.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't add or change any of the tags before posting this chapter, so some of the tags no longer apply to it, and the tags don't cover everything that happens in it.

“Oikawa, you have to eat something.” the doctor told me. “I’ll get you anything you want. It doesn't matter what it is, if I can get it for you I will.”

“I'm not hungry.” I mumbled to him.

Apparently lack of appetite is a withdrawal symptom of ecstacy. Along with anxiety, depression, insomnia, and a changed perception of yourself. There are more symptoms, but these are the ones I experienced when I decided to quit.

The doctors told me to eat, but I didn't feel hungry. They would provide me with anything I wanted to eat, but I never made any requests. I just wanted to be left alone.

At this point, the doctors watching me in the rehab center hadn't caught on that I only slept an hour or two every night. I knew that they would find out soon, either because they do nightly check ins with all of their patients, or because of the dark circles under my eyes that wouldn't go away. But no matter what I did, sleep wouldn't come to me.

Maybe it was because of Iwaizumi. I missed having his strong arms around me as I drifted off to sleep, or his calming scent from his pillows, and his hoodie that I always slept in, even though it was slightly too small for me.

I had admitted myself into a nice rehab center the day after Iwaizumi and I had fought. It had been about two weeks since I arrived. Most of the symptoms had passed, but I was still severely depressed, had anxiety attacks, a loss of appetite, and insomnia. 

The doctors said these symptoms could last anywhere from eleven days, to months. They also said they could get me antidepressants, and melatonin pills to help me sleep and cope. I took the antidepressants, but they didn't do much to help me. I was uninterested in everything, and I felt so guilty for what I put Iwaizumi through.

I didn't want people to know about the mistakes I made, so I didn't talk to the other patients there. I only ever talked about it when I was forced to talk to a therapist about how I felt, if I actually wanted to quit, if I felt like killing myself, and other things like that. I didn't know anyone, and I didn't want to. I just wanted to get back to Iwaizumi so I could stop regretting my choices. I knew that even if he didn't want to get back together with me, I knew Iwould feel better if I apologized about everything.Unfortunately, everyone thought I was traveling or something, so no one came to visit me.

After a few more minutes of me refusing to eat, the doctor left. He whispered something to my nurse. She was a nice lady, kind of old, but she cared about me, and tried to help me, even if that meant going against the strict rules the doctors set for me.

“Oikawa, how about I take you out to dinner. It would be nice to get out of this room right?” She demanded more than asked me.

I shrugged my shoulders, because in all honesty, I didn't have an opinion on it.

“Come on then. Let's get you presentable.”She took my hand and pulled me to my feet. “Bathroom!” She commanded.

I let her push me to the bathroom, shove a clean set of clothes into my hands then close the door. I turned on the water and let it heat up. Feeling the hot water and soap clean a few days of grime off me was nice. Depression does something to your motivation, I just didn't want to do anything but sit or lay on my bed for the last three days, so that's all I did, and no one interfered with it.

I got out and put on the crisp clean clothes. The nurse was waiting on the chair in my room patiently. She stood when I opened the bathroom door.

“Yay!” She said doing a tiny dance with her arms. “Come on, we have to be back before bed time!”

She pulled me out of my room and down the hall to the staff lounge. There was a door that all staff had a key to. It was also the only unmonitored door on the premises, other than the bathroom obviously. She popped her head in then signaled for me to follow. There was another nurse in the room, but he ignored us as we passed through the room and exited the door.

“Won't that guy tell some of the doctors what we’re doing?” I asked her after we were a significant distance from the rehab center.

“Oh no! We both have the few people we do this with. All it means is I see that you're trying to get better, and I want you to get better faster so you can get back to your life!” She told me.

That made me realise that, even in this horrible place, with all these people who are just like me, people care about me, even though they didn't know me well. I never thanked her for her kindness, but I think she knows.

She walked with me, like she trusted I wouldn't do anything other than stay by her side. She was right, I was here to get Iwa-chan back and to try and fix my mistakes, not because someone made me.

We got to the nearest food stall, a small ramen shop. She ordered two pork ramen bowls for us, then led me to a table in the corner.

“So,” she starts, “what made you want to get treatment? You don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable, I'm just curious. I'll keep what you tell me here between us.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I need to get better so I can apologize to someone I hurt.” I mumbled.

“That's a great reason to want to get better. Do you think that after you apologize, you won't want to get back to clubbing?”

“I cut ties with everyone I clubbed with before admitting myself. I just want Iwa-chan to know that I'm sorry about how I treated him, especially about the last day we saw each other.”

“Okay.” She responded happily. The food came soon after. She said it was fine if I didn't eat a lot, but that I should try to eat as much as I could. It smelled okay, but I could only stomach a few noodles and spoonfuls of the steamy hot broth.

She finished eating and we walked back to the clinic. She was just as stealthy sneaking in as she was sneaking out. We got back to my room safely a few minutes before curfew. She thanked me for the company and then left me to get ready for bed.

This became a pattern, sneaking out, getting ramen, sneaking back. We did it more and more. I started to feel excited to leave with her. I started to eat more food when we went. She always insisted on paying, and sometimes she bought me dessert. My insomnia slowly went away, I felt happier and more motivated.

Three weeks after I started eating ramen with my nurse, I got a check up for my depression. The psychologist who checked me wrote up a report and gave it to my doctor to go over. Depending on the outcome of the report, I could be released in a few days to a few months.

My nurse walked me back to my room so the doctors could talk freely. 

“You could be free to apologize after today, you know.” She said. “I think you got a lot better because of our secret.”

“Me too. Thanks for believing in me, and helping me like that.” I meet her eyes.

“That's no problem, I liked having you as company, so it also benefited me!” She smiled at me. “Personally, I think you should be released. Look at how much you’ve improved. You're smiling at me right now.”

“Really, I didn't notice.” I mumbled. And sure enough, after she pointed it out, I felt my cheek muscles becoming sore from all of my smiling, but that didn't stop it. I could see Iwaizumi. He could see my progress, and maybe if I'm honest with him, he’ll forgive me.

We got to my room, my nurse left to handle another patient, and I sat on my bed looking at the door intently as I waited for the results from the psychologist. After a few minutes, the doctor came in looking like he always did. His expression gave me no information about my condition, or release. He pulled up a chair so he was sitting in front of me.

“We concluded that you can be released today. You show no signs of withdrawal, other than the depression. But that could be caused by being here for too long. I'll prescribe you a light antidepressant. You will take one pill every morning after eating, and at about the same time everyday.”

I nodded, too excited to speak.

“Pack your stuff up, when you're ready, your nurse will give you the form to get you sent home, as well as walk you out.”

I nodded again. The doctor left and I started to collect my things. It was surprising how little I had. A few pairs of pants, one pair of shorts, and four shirts. I have my phone, a pair of blue earbuds Iwaizumi had given me, and two books I didn't read. It all fit in a small bag that I slung over my shoulder. My nurse was waiting outside my door. I almost knocked her over when I threw the door open.

“I see you're ready to go. Let's go get your paperwork.” She led me through the halls and down a set of stairs to the lobby with a reception desk. She walked up and said hello, then she asked for my papers. We took the papers to a small table, where my nurse filled out everything she needed to, then told me to sign it saying that I received good treatment, and that I understood that if I got addicted to any drugs after leaving, it has nothing to do with the treatment I received. I signed quickly.

The receptionist went over them making sure everything was filled out and correct. When she nodded and put the papers in a folder to be stored if I ever returned, I hugged my nurse, said goodbye and walked out.

I walked to the nearest train station and took the train to the closest stop to Iwaizumi’s apartment. It only took five minutes for me to be standing in front of his door, debating knocking on it.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he sounded angry. I turned to see Iwaizumi glaring at me. With no time to prepare what I wanted to say, I just blurted out the first thing I thought of.

“I still love you.” I felt my eyes go wide. Why did I have to start with that?

“That doesn't explain why you're here. And why do you think you can disappear for over a month, then show up out of nowhere. What do you think I'm going to do with this?” He said getting more mad.

Trying to stay calm, I looked in his eyes. “I went to rehab.”

“Oh.” is all he said.

“I just got released, so I came to apologize. I didn't think about how my actions affected you. I'm so sorry I yelled at you, and I reacted like that when you were only trying to keep me safe. I-I'm just so sorry about everything! I don't expect anything from you, but I just wanted you to know that I'm better. No matter how you feel, I won't go back to clubbing.” I took a deep breath and looked at him. I didn't realize I was crying until I felt his fingers brush tears off my cheeks.

“I'm sorry too, Oikawa. I just wanted you to be safe. And every time you went to the hospital after a night of clubbing, I just. I couldn't watch you do that anymore. I didn't mean to be so mean about it.” He took a step closer to me. “I still love you too. I tried to get over you, but my heart just couldn't move on, even though my head wanted to.”

I stepped closer to him, expecting him to step back away from me.When he didn't, I took his hand and pulled him into my arms. I let my tears flow. I felt his tears soaking my shirt as well.

“I love you Iwa-chan.”

“I love you too, idiot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was tempted to write a second part to this, but the request for it made me really motivated to write it. I'm really glad I wrote this. I wanted it to have a sad ending, but this is okay.
> 
> I figured out I can write one shots and really short stories in like a day. So any requests will probably be posted one to three days after I see the comment for it.


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